Is it wrong to argue and quarrel with your siblings? This question is asked many times by young people. Today, I want to look at some scriptures that could help shed some light on the subject.

First, we must make one thing clear, and that is that the word “brother” in the Bible often refers to all Christians. That doesn’t matter, though, because out siblings should be under that category anyway.

The first verse that I want to look at is a rather confusing one. It is Proverbs 17:17. Does it mean that we are intended to quarrel with our siblings? No – in this passage, the “brother born for adversity” is just being used as a contrast to show how much a friend loves. Take a look at Psalm 133:1. It pretty much shows that God wants us to be united with our brothers and sisters, not adversary.

But does it really matter if we fight with out siblings? From the world’s perspective, no – it doesn’t matter at all. In fact, they might even call it “survival of the fittest”. But does it matter from God’s perspective? Is it true that He hates quarreling and fighting? Yes – it is true, painfully true.

Remember the story of Cain and Able? Cain got upset with Abel over a little matter of sacrifices, and he got so angry that he killed him. Later, God appeared to him and questioned him about his brother. You can read about it in Genesis 4. Because of Cain’s killing his brother, God cursed him to be “driven from the ground, which opened its mouth to receive your brother’s blood from your hand. When you work the ground, it will no longer yield its crops for you. You will be a restless wanderer on the earth.” That was a pretty serious punishment, even though the crime was murder.

Another example of how much God hates brotherly adversity is in Matthew 5:21-26. Here, Jesus is saying that if you simply called your brother a bad name, you would either have to face the Sanhedrin, jail, or even the fire of Hell. That’s a pretty harsh punishment for a simple name-calling incident, don’t you think? It just goes to show how much God hates quarreling and rivalry amongst siblings.

By now, you are probably convinced that God is opposed to sibling rivalry and quarreling. So that means that you can just go home and totally ignore your siblings, right? Wrong. God not only wants you to not fight with them, He wants you to love them.

Read 1 John 2:9-11. It pretty much says that whoever loves his brother lives in the light, but whoever hates his brother lives in darkness. Later on in 1 John, read chapter 4 verses 7 and 8. Here, Paul is saying that whoever loves his brother knows God, but whoever does not love his brother does not know God. Still later on in 1 John, read chapter 4 verses 19-21. Paul is saying again that whoever claims that he loves God, but hates his brother, is a liar. Whoever loves God must also love his brother.

Although we should love our siblings and not argue with them, we should still correct them if we see them doing something wrong. Read Matthew 18:15-17. It says that if your brother sins against you, you should first try to settle the dispute between yourselves. If he doesn’t listen to you, then you should get some of your friends together as witnesses. If he still doesn’t listen, then you should take him in front of the church, and if he still doesn’t listen, then you should treat him as an outcast. Now I doubt that all that will happen to you and your siblings, but it shows that God wants us to correct as well as love each other.

Another verse on this is Luke 17:3-4. The word “seven” in this passage means “infinity”. So if our brother sins infinite times, yet asks his forgiveness the same amount of times, we should forgive him.

So in conclusion, God wants us to not argue with our siblings, to love them, and to correct them whenever they sin. This not only applies to your siblings, though. It applies to everyone we meet. So next time you are tempted to be short or argue with someone, think again.